The 'Y' Post.

Nadiyae Nee Aaanaal…
If you were to be a river…
Karai Naanaey,
Then I would be your bank.
Silluh Paravai Nee Aanaal…
If you were to be a flock of birds…
Unn Vaanam Naanaey.
Then I would be your sky.

Life is funny.

Suddenly you’re everything, and suddenly you’re not.

I guess every one has their peaks and troughs,

but why should it be like that?
Why should one feel bad, to feel good all over again?
Why can’t the status quo be ‘Happy’ and never change?
Is sorrow that essential in living a worth-it life?

Feeling like a ‘Loser’ helps, and that I know, as experience only makes people wiser, or so say the forefathers (Har! Har! – The Meitei in me, comes alive again. Yeah!), and Loser-syndrome-benefits in my life are many. But sorrows or unhappiness (es) really don’t lead to anything positive, do they? I’ve never really come across a person who has benefited quite triumphantly after a phase of extreme sorrow. They usually do enjoy life more afterwards, but why did they need it in the first place? Depression is sure to follow suit in most cases, and since I’ve been there and done that (Oui! Je suis La Pro!), I know how painful that can actually be. It hurts like there’s never going to be an end. There are no more beautiful sunrise’s, no more mellow evenings, no more voices to give you ‘jhumm’ and make your day, and no more songs that can make you cry tears of joy. Life becomes so pathetic, that there doesn’t seem to be a reason to live it. Depression leads to the feeling of not being appreciated, which finally leads to a very unhealthy isolation, which is something I feel I’m going through now.

Why is being appreciated so important?
Why can’t we just make do with being the simple people that we were born to be?
Why do we always need to strive towards earning some totally unachievable goal

that in the first place cannot exist, and in the second place,

might not have even been created by ‘you’?
Why is the need to ‘fit in’ so indispensable to almost everyone,

and to those to whom it doesn’t, well,

they weren’t going to ‘fit in’ in the first place.

Why can’t the people we love, love us back?
Why can’t we get what we want?
Why couldn’t we be the parents of our parents?
Why couldn’t we all be millionaires?
Why is India taking forever to develop?
Why is the world round and not square?
Why can’t we find life on other planets, and run away?

Why can’t we learn to face things as they are and not crib?

I wish I knew! I really do.
Of how time flew, far away...

leaving me (lonely) behind.

Mon Adonis from Down Under

“He's too pretty to be straight.”
That’s what Kalvin (The Gay Guy)

in House M.D says about Dr. Chase (Jesse Spencer)

in the Episode: Hunting (Season 2)

and I couldn’t agree more…


Pretty boys have to be gay; it’s just how the world functions and should continue to do so. If they weren’t gay, they would be tormented about their pretty looks my testosterone obsessed macho guys who well can never really appreciate the beauty than god created in man. All men need not be like grizzly bears and smell. It’s nice sometimes if they look like an Adonis and make you smile, just by how cute they actually are.
Jesse Spencer is one helluva cutie, I must confess. But then who’s surprised? Half the imports from Australia are anyway the hottest guys in Hollywood today. Just think hot, and think Australian… I mean how many guys can match up to Hugh Jackman, Heath Ledger, Eric Bana, Simon Baker (The Devil Wears Prada), Adam Garcia (Coyote Ugly), David Wenham (LOTR), and the list can go on and on…

These guys are raw, beautiful, at times extremely effeminate, and HOT ;)

I guess all that sun does actually do them some good.

But Jesse Spencer is a class apart. I loved him when he had short hair, I loved him as a pubescent in Neighbours, and I love him even more in House M.D.

Too bad the boy’s not in the series anymore…

Would love to see more of him for sure…
Just waiting for this boy to go places…

It will be all my pleasure.

Avarr!

Have you ever woken up, completely in love with someone you have never met, and only seen? Well, if you haven’t this is not something you should be reading, scroll down to more domicile stuff, as you would like it, or read this crazed fan’s fantasy.

Noise.

He walks in, my eyes light up…
The light slowly contours his image, and my heart skips a beat…
The light from the room falls on his oh-so-adorable face…
And slowly his image filters through those visual stimuli…
I sigh…
From emotions uncontrollable.


It is a wedding, and several known and unknown linger around.
I know him, and he knows me, and yet we don’t know each other.
(Ayyio! Andavaah, Can I get any cliché-er?)

I turn around and I see him…
He is what I’ve always dreamed of, and even more. A man in all his essences, yet effeminate just enough to make him lovable. Everything is quiet around me, and then suddenly from nowhere, a small little tune erupts in my head. Tamizh poetry at its best, slowly mixes with this tune, and a song once heard and always loved, drifts along with me into an ecstasy incomparable.


Poove Vaai Pasumboedhuh…
Kaatrae Oedaadhae Nilluh…

How I wish I was Simran, or even better his wife.

Shaam, aka Shyam; My Knight in Shining Armour hopeful No 1.

This gorgeous Tamizh Paiyen is from Namma Bengalooru, and ever since I have set eyes on him some 9 years ago, his face is a common spicy additive to my every fantasy.
He has managed to send jhumms down every inch of my skin when I see him, even now, and has been the sole cause for a failed relationship with a friend (who turned out to be quite THE jerk even though he looked so much like my Adonis).


He is so completely edible (lol!) from the amazingly yummy bod, to the deep set eyes, to that boy-like charm, to his voice… I have never been SO in love. I lusted for him in Laesa-Laesa, I fell in love with him in Iyarkai,
I envied him in 12 B,

and I was swept of my feet by him, in Ullam Kaetkumae.


As Simran so beautifully said in that song:

Kaadhalan Aaniakkuh Kaathirruppaen…
I will patiently wait till you turn into my lover
Kai Kettum Doorathil Poothirruppaen…
And still bloom with love for you, while I remain as close as I can

I have decided to always look forward to meeting this hunk and quite quietly (LOVE IT!) letting him know of my apparent eternal crush. So who cares if he’s not gay? I never said I want to sleep with him… I’m completely content to be just like this…

Un Swaasuh Paadhaiyil…
And within the distance of your breath
Naan Suttri Thiruguhvaen….
I will forever linger and wait.


If the character Simran played was real in 12 B, I’m sure I wouldn’t have been any different. The similiarities I see are too much. So yes! I sound like a stalker… But I mean him no harm. Pure, undiluted love was never a sin (Ahem!)
Haha :)

Shaam, what a perfect name. The time of even. Where the light meets the dark, where the good meets the bad, where fantasies turn into reality, where man and woman exist purely as humans, genderless and in perfect harmony.

Mr. Knight Inshiningarmour

Laalgudi Jayaraaman playing into my earphones,
‘Khoobsurat Hain Tu’ by Soumya Raoh feat. Sukhwinder Singh in my mind…
Do I multitask or what!?

Carnatic meets Lounge and is Happy!

The fourth day into the year, and I’m already missing the last year. This year begins with an instability that I hope I will somehow keep from affecting me. I pray that by the end it turns out well. Maybe that’s why Music all of a sudden means so much.
Friends whom I give so much a damn about willfully ignore me. Why do such things? There’s an understanding that if you want to ignore someone and not hurt them, you make sure they don’t know. Why would you rub it in to them that it was done on purpose and not ignore someone else within the same periphery, a good common friend at that!
Another ‘YOU’ who shares intellectual space with me and earns an income out of doing so, similar to me, is a known common friend, of another blissfully inhuman friend, and even though we both know that, there is this wall that still keeps us so far apart.

Why?

I am not like this. I suddenly need to be reminded ‘I am liked’. Not the perfect state for me to be in at 8:18pm on a Friday night. I wish I could say “Life sucks!” and be content. But I’ve done that too many times already. For someone who, like me, depends so parasitically on LOVE, this physical and temporal absence is really making the worst of me. Everyone around is in love, or is falling in love, or is fed up of it and getting out.
I on the other ironically different hand, have nothing whatsoever in the remotest bit close to anything like love.

Why can’t people I like, just well… LIKE ME! Why does it always have to be this constant war, of teaching each other lessons, or trying to be more realistic, or even worse; alternating sexuality, or the worst: marriage.

Where is Mr. Knight Inshiningarmour?

If he’s around, or even more pathetically if she’s around

(just in case – ‘coz the battle of the sexes never ends!)…
I would like to meet you now, kind sir.
It would be much appreciated.

And just to make things worse, here are some finitely sweet lyrics – the sort that the likes of me would fantasize of whispering into Mr. Knight Inshiningarmour’s ear when we finally do meet, and by chance even end up making love.


Dreams… Bah!

Khoobsurat Hain Tu
Vocals: Soumya Raoh feat. Sukhwinder Singh
Music: Sandeep Chowta

Khoobsurat Hain Tu… Iss Kadar, Iss Kadar
Khoobsurat Hain Tu… Iss Kadar, Iss Kadar

Jaisey Khushiyoen Ka Chehraa
Aur Khushboon Ka Daeraa
Khoobsurat Hain Tu… Iss Kadar, Iss Kadar
Khoobsurat Hain Tu…Khoobsurat Hain Tu

Kudrat Se Jawaani… Saawan Ki Rawaani
Zulfoen Ki Adaayen… Humko Tadpaayen

Hotaa Hain Mohhabbat Ka Yeh Sehar

Koiee Jog Mein Dooba… Koiee Shoekh Mein Khoyaa
Jaisey Saawan Mein Koyal… Koiee Geet Sunaaye
Jaisey Saawan Mein, Saawan Mein, Saawan Mein

Dekhti Hain Nigaahain Tujhey… Iss Kadar
Iss Kadar, Iss Kadar… Iss Kadar, Iss Kadar
Khoobsurat Hain Tu (Khoobsurat Hain Tu)…
Iss Kadar, Iss Kadar

Ve Mein Naiyoen Djaanaa, Re Mein Naiyoen Djaanaa

Oh… Raanjhaa Sang Raen’na…
Oh… Dukh Sukh Saen’na…
Oh… Raanjhaa Sang Raen’na…
Oh… Raanjhaa Sang Raen’na…

Raanjhaa, Raanjhaa
Raanjhaa, Raanjhaa
R-a-a-n-j-h-a-a, R-a-a-n-j-h-a-a