Mind it, I say!

Mind it! Quick Gun Murugan might be the next funniest thing to hit Bollywood, but to someone like me, I’m not too sure that’s good humour anymore. In what seems to be a trend these days, television and the ad industry are cashing in on the supposed South Indian accent, and making loads of money at the expense of ridiculing a community. What’s wrong in that you say? Well, to begin, let’s talk about the concept. The idea of a South Indian accent, as has been endorsed so brilliantly by Bollywood over the last few decades, is a farce. I will agree that there might have been something similar that was spoken, which in turn was exaggerated beyond recognition into the ugly sounding parlance that is now passed off as South-Indian-speak. Why is that wrong you say? Well, it’s wrong because it’s factually incorrect, as factually incorrect as another existing notion that all Sardarji’s are stupid. The accents in the South are as interesting as accents get. Often as students of language, one cannot but marvel at the way these accents have evolved. Take for example phrases like, ‘Simply Adjust Maadi’ – a phrase that defines a whole generation and the ideology it stands for. Or for example the interesting ‘Tanglish’ (Tamil-English) words that have no English equivalent. I mean can the much-researched process of roaming around an area that houses one’s ‘heartbeat’ be more eloquently expressed than with the usage of the word ‘Suththify’? It’s just a joke, why take it so seriously, you ask? Well, I agree at some point it was funny. The days of the ‘ek chathura-naar’ being the funniest song on television have long gone and the accent that’s supposedly South-Indian over done with half a dozen Mithunda movies. Sridevi actually has a natural South-Indian accent and had to put on a fake, more identifiable South Indian accent for ‘Malini Iyer.’ Who even does that and more importantly why? Lola Kutty is funny and thankfully she’s appreciated for her sense of humour that is only made funnier with the Malabar-Twang, but cross your heart and swear that you’ve only heard Malayalis speak with that far-fetched accent? It’s not like movies haven’t ridiculed accents in good taste! Read ‘Thenali’ or the more recent ‘Dasavathaaram,’ where Kamal Hassan pulled off a brilliant Telugu accent, that was appreciated by several Telugites themselves. Shah Rukh Khan trying to be all South-Indian and funny on the other hand, the lesser said the better. Yes, all the North Indians in the theatre laughed their heads off, while one half of the South-Indians giggled just to please the crowd and the others, like me, swore that Bollywood was the last thing we’d turn to for comedy. Believe me that was a choice well taken. Rajnikanth might be an icon and his way of speaking at times hilarious. What Bollywood fails to realise is that South-India is evolving into a far prouder demographic. We love the way we are and some of us even see sense in our peculiarities, for good reason. With such a wave of newfound self-respect and love, Quick Gun Murugan might not be the best movie for us to be so excited about. Yes, we’ll still watch it and yes we’ll enjoy it, but that’s only cause we don’t mind laughing at ourselves and of course, Bollywood – will they ever get it? But for those of you who are planning to laugh in ridicule, all I’m going to say is – Mind it!

Prevention is better than cure?

“I am feeling faint, I feel sick, maybe I have swine flu, lol :P” read the status message of a friend just a few minutes ago. While I should commend this friend of mine for being so silly and brave while the whole city runs mad with swine flu panic, I also think maybe we’re taking it a tad too lightly. But then again are we? I remember my mother (the ever wise) always saying, “Eat well, and nothing can harm you.” Sometimes I wish it were that simple. A look at me and any one worth an opinion would swear that I am a good-eater and I am indeed! Is that why I don’t fall sick too often (touch wood)? But then, what about falling ill, being apparently poisoned by food, hardly a week ago. “Oh! That’s just bad luck,” my mother would say and I might just have to agree. Food experiences in India revolve largely on the notions of luck.Indians are world-renowned for being tough creatures. Yes, we are a prime example of the human race, evolved in every sense, tough from the inside and the outside. Our food is considered unhealthy, why even poisonous to a few, and yet we thrive and consume kilos of these ‘oriental delicacies’ per day and stay perfectly fine. We actually grow eating it, as much as many westerners might find that surprising. Hygiene is re-defined in the country’s many food-lanes. If it smells ok, the food looks clean and the cook has a smile on his face, the food is safe – any old grandmother would agree. Our stomachs have been lined since the day we were born with layers of protective coatings and most of the time, the old-oil from that last plate of pakodas, wouldn’t elicit a burp while it might have poisoned a whole township in Seattle. We’re tough yes, we agree! Yet, we’re also the same species who will run like wild animals to the nearest hospital the moment an epidemic is announced. “Doctor! My eyes are red, do I have swine flu,” a doctor friend was genuinely asked, by a patient earlier today. Remember Chikungunya? How we all thought we had it? Maybe panicking comes naturally to us, as a people plagued by epidemics for centuries (read the innumerous plagues and virus epidemics we’ve faced over the last few centuries). So maybe, it’s in our blood. But need we worry that much?All I’m saying is, “We’re Indians!” Fine! Be concerned and do keep track of what’s happening to your body, but the next time you feel an itch in your nose, please do take a minute to consider that all you need is a good scratch, not the run to the nearest swine flu center.

Maathey Malayadhwaja Paandya Sanjaathey...

I first heard this beautiful krithi raagam in Morning Raaga and I'm forever indebted to the movie, its makers and everyone who was involved in getting me to watch it, for it has become a part of my daily life... and I just can't seem to pass one whole day without one hearing of this amazing rendition...The following is the link from youtube of the Original Morning Raaga video of the song, which is also the beginning of the movie. What a way to start...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIYFIvhLO98

Here are the lyrics in all the languages I could use to write it in...Hope its of some use to anyone!I know I might have made a few spelling mistakes, especially in the Tamizh version where I was torn between the use of the grantha alphabets or the native equals... I chose the grantha :

மாதே மலைய த்வஜ பான்ட்ய ஸந்ஜாதே...

மாதங்க வதன குஹ ஸஹொதரி ஷன்கரி சாமுண்டேஷ்வரி...

சந்திரகலாதரி, தாயே கௌரி...

માતે મલયધ્વજા પંડય સંજાતે...

માતંગ વદન ગુહા સહોદરી શંકરી ચામુંડેશ્વરી...

ચંદ્રકલાદરી તાયે ગૌરિ...

ಮಾತೆ ಮಲಯಧ್ವಜ ಪಂದ್ಯ ಸಂಜಾತೆ...

ಮಾತಂಗ ವದನ ಗುಹ ಸಹೋದರಿ ಶಂಕರಿ ಚಾಮುಂಡೇಶ್ವರಿ...

ಚಂದ್ರಕಲಾದರಿ ತಾಯೆ ಗೌರಿ...

മാതെ മലയധ്വജ പാണ്ട്യ സന്ജാതെ...

മാതംഗ വദന ഗുഹ സഹോദരി ശങ്കരി ചാമുന്ടെശ്വരി...

ചന്ദ്രകലാതറി തായേ ഗൌരി...

మాతే మలయధ్వజ పాండ్య సంజాతే...

మాతంగ వదన గుహ సహోదరి శాంకరి చాముండేశ్వరి...

చంద్రకలాదరి తాయే గౌరీ...

Betrayed by a Democracy

This is a piece that appeared edited in the MidDay Bangalore a day after the fake encounter... Here's the unedited version...
Pic Courtesy: Tehelka

A quick glance through Tehelka’s exclusive coverage of the fake encounter in Imphal yesterday is a piece of evidence that’s been long pending. Our country is no more a nation but a set of individualistic territories not willing to give up their differentiating identities. Can a nation be more nihilistic? For years as a young Manipuri-Tamizh, I tried explaining my stand as an Indian to groups of intellectuals who always tried to convince me that our country had gone terribly wrong. I wanted to have faith. I wanted to believe in the idealistic India – a country that was a home to many, a nation built on difference, bound by a constitutionally guaranteed equality. I did believe, wholeheartedly, till I moved to Manipur in early 1999. Hardly a month in the state and I realized how naïve I actually was. Nothing seemed democratic in the state anymore. A deteriorating educational system, backed by a powerless government, that had plunged the state into a virtual black age. Troops from the Indian army had taken law into their own hands for a long time by then and funnily enough locals who were in the Indian army also indulged in these acts that can only take one name - Opression. Fine, the local people had asked for a separate state. Yes, they were an armed militia and of course, a few groups were always associated with illegal activities like extortions and abductions – but where was the army being any different? My two-year stint in the state came to and end and I ran back to the south to complete my education. Vague and often muted cries of help did catch my attention, and an occasional Manorama did make it to the national headlines, but that was it. I was blissfully ignorant and content. I spent my time researching culture and falling in love with the India of my dreams. My degree in journalism helped me get involved with the local media and I realized that the inequalities in this country were far too many. My India was no more the place I dreamt it was. It was it's ugly opposite that was the reality I saw. States oppressed communities by holding back infrastructure – read Telengana, and others suppressed the rich cultural heritage of minorities in bargain for a more unificatory identity – read Karnataka. Some states even went to the point of declaring state religions and imposing compulsory prayers in government school like the incomparable Madhya Pradesh. India seemed to be a democracy only in our constitution. The real story was something else altogether. It was hard to make comparisons and decide who was suffering the most. It was however obvious that the only states suffering from nothing less than a central controlled military backed opressive rule were the 3 North Eastern states of Assam, Manipur and Nagaland and Jammu & Kashmir in the North. These regimes were however justified by the government as security measures. The world knows enough about the Kashmir issue, but the plight of the North East is still one of the least reported military backed crime sagas. With the brilliant coverage given by Tehelka on the supposed encounter, it’s now for the world to see how our centre responds. Will the centre care enough to clean up these crimes and give satisfactory explanations to the people of Manipur or like always will they ignore it long enough and hope it disappears like a bad dream? The world is watching and this time the country is watching too – the core of our democratic India is finally being questioned. Can we blame this one on the militia too? And since we’re asking, are we really sure we’re not involved in Baluchistan’s terrorism as claimed? Are we that sure about anything anymore?