This is as corny as I get... I think!

My desperate attempt at trying to write a profile for a gay dating site...

This is as corny as I get... I think!

Read on and be amused!

I’ve always wondered why I need to do this, but there’s never enough of a reason to do so. Profile reads are the most boring things to write… Seriously!
I mean, how much can one talk about themselves and be truthful?
Anyway here goes nothing! I am 22, turned 22 on 28th July and this has been till date, one of the most un-eventful years of my life. I came out of one of the most painful relationships and hope to never get into any such relationship again, ever!
I am still however, a romantic and believe in meeting my true love, my Mr. Knight Inshiningarmour, who will come for me one day or the other – the sooner the better.
I look forward to falling in love again, and I know I might break my heart again, but I guess its worth-it. I believe in love, so kill me!
It’s all a cycle and I’d like to believe like most Americans that it’s all a bloody government conspiracy, but why is it so hard for a gay man who’s come out to the whole world, to find someone exactly like him?
I am not a ‘queen’, I am effeminate, but to a certain well-within-control limit. I am not a ‘butch’ either and believe me; I know I hate being on top. I am one of those boys who has it all in his head, and if we can conversate and argue and just generally be happy with each others presence, I know I can do without sex.
I want a man, a guy who knows what he wants. A man who can control me even without letting me feel controlled, who can protect me even while letting me protect myself, and most of all a man who would let me drown myself in him, literally!
I seem to be a straight-magnet and I don’t like it. Two relationships with straight men over five years, I have nothing to regret, just that I can’t deal with such pointless flings anymore. I need to be loved as much as I love and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m sure you’ll agree. All I’m asking is for ‘prospective you’ to be open to a relationship and to not be interested in me if you haven’t dealt with your sexuality as yet. Now, that’s not too much to ask for and I know that.
I am otherwise a ‘un-convinced’ Leo, who loves to express in whatever form it maybe. I am a chatter-box and can talk a lot (not really an asset, but me all the same). I dance (Bharatanatyam and Meitei Jagoi) and sing (carnatic classical, and tenor in a choir). I am also a huge reader and love reading fiction as much as non-fiction. My current favourite is Alan Hollinghurst, but I also like Edmund White. I love mad books, and history is like an extended orgasm. Cultures are however my ultimate Viagra.
I am an avid traveler and love riding pillion on any bike (the rider is a huge motivation though). I love the hills (I grew up there) and love the sea equally. I hope to one day retire in some provincial hill town and lead a nice quiet life till I die (Kotagiri, where I grew up is my present pick).
My roots lie in Kerala, Tamil Nadu and Manipur and I love these languages and the cultures they represent. I am anti-aryan in my outlook and extremely pro-dravidian, so if that means you don’t want to read any further, be my guest.
I love learning scripts and am a self-confessed lingua-phile. Languages and their respective intricacies turn me on. For example, you can be sure I would make passionate love to you if you suddenly one day discovered the beauty of the ‘sharada seh’ in Telugu or how the ‘zha’ in Tamil and Malayalam are actually phonetically quite different.
I give a lot and expect a lot, so beware. I cannot take indecisiveness. It used to be a turn on till I realized how hard a problem it was to deal with in a relationship. Looks do matter and I will not say ‘no’. Like any other normal person I am attracted to good looks, but that’s not everything. I can get turned on by someone who seems very interesting in my kinda way too. Male chauvinists stay away. I am a feminist trapped in a gay man’s body and I’m proud! I do not entertain married men, but bisexuals I wouldn’t mind indulging.
If I’ve said enough and you’re prompted and convinced to say Hi! Then do just that and get in touch, it’s really very easy you know…

I disown the last line and wish I'd never written it, but then again, if something as simple as this leads me to Mr Purrfect, then its an attempt well-worth all the hardwork...

I just hope it works :(