Sunday, January 20, 2008

The 'Y' Post.

Nadiyae Nee Aaanaal…
If you were to be a river…
Karai Naanaey,
Then I would be your bank.
Silluh Paravai Nee Aanaal…
If you were to be a flock of birds…
Unn Vaanam Naanaey.
Then I would be your sky.

Life is funny.
Suddenly you’re everything, and suddenly you’re not.
I guess every one has their peaks and troughs,
but why should it be like that?
Why should one feel bad, to feel good all over again?
Why can’t the status quo be ‘Happy’ and never change?
Is sorrow that essential in living a worth-it life?

Feeling like a ‘Loser’ helps, and that I know, as experience only makes people wiser, or so say the forefathers (Har! Har! – The Meitei in me, comes alive again. Yeah!), and Loser-syndrome-benefits in my life are many. But sorrows or unhappiness (es) really don’t lead to anything positive, do they? I’ve never really come across a person who has benefited quite triumphantly after a phase of extreme sorrow. They usually do enjoy life more afterwards, but why did they need it in the first place? Depression is sure to follow suit in most cases, and since I’ve been there and done that (Oui! Je suis La Pro!), I know how painful that can actually be. It hurts like there’s never going to be an end. There are no more beautiful sunrise’s, no more mellow evenings, no more voices to give you ‘jhumm’ and make your day, and no more songs that can make you cry tears of joy. Life becomes so pathetic, that there doesn’t seem to be a reason to live it. Depression leads to the feeling of not being appreciated, which finally leads to a very unhealthy isolation, which is something I feel I’m going through now.

Why is being appreciated so important?
Why can’t we just make do with being the simple people that we were born to be?
Why do we always need to strive towards earning some totally unachievable goal
that in the first place cannot exist, and in the second place,
might not have even been created by ‘you’?
Why is the need to ‘fit in’ so indispensable to almost everyone,
and to those to whom it doesn’t, well,
they weren’t going to ‘fit in’ in the first place.

Why can’t the people we love, love us back?
Why can’t we get what we want?
Why couldn’t we be the parents of our parents?
Why couldn’t we all be millionaires?
Why is India taking forever to develop?
Why is the world round and not square?
Why can’t we find life on other planets, and run away?

Why can’t we learn to face things as they are and not crib?

I wish I knew! I really do.
Of how time flew, far away...
leaving me (lonely) behind.