An open letter to someone I wished I had never loved!

It finally is over… I had hoped it never would be, but it is… and I am a loser for falling prey to you again. So what was I? A random guy who would look after you, take care of your expenses and blow you when you were horny? I hate myself for having been reduced to just that, all the while assuming I was in LOVE. It took you one month to replace me, no? Just ONE month… and what for… Because I asked you to love me in return!
If I mattered even a bit, wouldn’t you have tried? You always knew that I was just waiting to take you back and believe in the lie that you helped create… so what was it that changed?
You didn’t love me, no? I’m sure that was it… because if that was not the case, then you are just evil. So for my own sake, I shall remember you as a young boy who fell out of love with me… because if you did love me — what you did was not what anyone deserves, not even your worst enemy.
Take care and for your own good, stop using people so selfishly… it will all backfire one day and you will have no way to counter it.
You, or who you made me to believe you were, will be missed. Your true form in all its vileness however will not. And please, no amount of psychological counselling can help someone like you. You enjoy being a victim and I am sure you wanted to be portrayed as the victim in this relationship too. But that cannot happen, because, unlike you, I loved you… and till yesterday evening when you decided to show me what I am really worth… I was willing to die for you. You were my everything and now I pray and hope that I never meet one as monstrous as you, ever again.
You were a bad dream and I hope I wake up tomorrow and you never even existed.

Fin?

Why does it seem like this is the end?

I hoped this would last longer...

I was wrong... I guess.

Pic Courtesy: © vampire-zombie.deviantart.com

LOVE is ALL.

I LOVE YOU.

NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

© Cayton Cox

PonnKaalam, PonnTamizh and my PonnDaatar :)

A golden time has come... the rains lash across my homeland, filling the rivers to a full, brimming like never before... has the age of the plenty come back to reclaim its scorched plains and confused people?

Green seems to have taken over a brown that I was far too used to.

Tamilakkam shines... PonnTamizh is back... maybe it's time for another Sangam?

But has our thought become ripe-enough? Do we radiate self-actualisation like ripe mangoes perfume an orchard just before the mango showers?

Do our lips quiver with the need to spout beautiful words of heavenly sounding precision?

Do we tremble with anticipation of a chance to speak of wisdom and near-divine levels of literary perfection in thought and action?

Does our every action evoke the endless pregnant fields of the richly-watered flat valleys and the golden crops that sway to winds of the mositure-laden North-Eastern monsoons?

Have we finally reached that melting point of suffocation when expression in all its myriad forms burst forth in every possible medium we have come to represent with?

Or am I deviating from what really brings joy to my mind?

Do I see fruition in everything, only because my mind seems so full of vibrance and colour, that I feel like dancing, singing, floating... flying?

Listening to some wonderful verses in prose and poetry in a language as sweet as milk and honey, browned and caramelised by a rustic local culture that brings palpitations of a divine kind to my existence...

I am suddenly reminded that most of my joys come from finding love...

Love in it's all encompassing form...

Love that allows you to fight, to make-up, to rage, to calm, to have passion, to share compassion, to whisper, to shout, to smile, to frown, to cry, to laugh and most of all to care and be cared for...

The love for an identity, for a culture, for a people and for a civilization has just been equalled by the love for a person... and I am still left wondering... when the *^!@ did all of this happen?

Image courtesy: http://say2daffodil.blogspot.com :)