Of James Marsden and an associated Facebook conversation now converted into a blog post…
It all started off with me uploading pictures of the only man I truly love and desire (NOT!) But for the sake of this post... I do :) Anyway here’s how it went…
Original uploaded text on FB with pictures: Hello! All :P I am sharing some photos of the future love of my life, because I feels, everyone must enjoy his visuals pleasures. That however doesn't mean, you can drool yourself to dehydration, as he is youvurr brother-in-law after all... future brother-in-law at least. So look with respect, comment with modesty and if you want to do something naughty, please do, just don't let me know or anger might come and I might just DELETE this album... So don't push me against the wall, please friends! :P Now, yenjaai with self-control :)
Now Ann Kochu, who is a friend of Sumana B Jayanth, who is now Sumana Simha, who I only met at a wedding (Ann)… liked it, soon after which, so did… Michelle Wilfred, Priyanka Koijam, Vipp Notism, Tia Raina (who’s blog is linked here) and Anuradha Ramanathan (mostly Christ College connections who have become friends over time)...
So my first comment came from Tia Raina: “Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”, which was then liked by me. Then came Vipp Notism’s opening line: “Wattebooty! — I mean the message, not the fellow.” To which I replied, “You can mean the fellow also... Liking him is above gender and sexuality :) He’s so above it all... *sighs* :P Thanks anyway :)”.
Now Vipp Notism said something here, but he also deleted it soon after. Something that spoke of a certain Rama Pedda Gundu Rao Bahadur Mangal being the only man who would suffice and the rest — he deleted it though! Anyway my reply was, “I am confused... lol :P Is Rama Pedda Gundu Rao Bahadur Mangal just a name to represent Pakkath Maney Figure... (in this case normal mens items) or is it an actual mix of a Golti Braahmin with a Nepali/Bihari/Bhojpuri? If so... I would like to meet this Rama Pedaa Gundu Rao Bahadur Mangal... Whatte interesting combination it will be this items... :) and what you mean when you say my jamsie cutsie is not a hotsie...? Please retract youvurr random projectile negatifications, or I might be forced to use my Brahmastra against you...! Be warned oh Vipp Notism! :P”. Vipp Notism duly liked it straight after and promptly replied with a “:-) he he he”.
Now I was not going to take this lying down (lol :P)… so I quickly responded, “What is he he he :( I want a answer ra :) please waste time and answer in detail, even if its the last thing you want to do :) I really really really want to meet Mr Gundsu :P”. Vipp Notism was quite the sweetheart and tried explaining… “lol, no unfortunately it (gundu) is not real, only as real as an acid trip, a faction of my imagination created in order to conduct fictitious social thought experiments...”
But would I give up? No way… so in typical Romalesque style I replied in full diraama, “You used me. As an experiment. *runs and throws himself at a nearby temple in front of a goddess statue as thunder and lightening crash and boom all around him* *with his sweat soaked hair he flings himself at the goddesses feet and asks for JUSTICE from these menses who have just USED and EXPERIMENTED on him...* *Jawab do maaaaaaaaaa! Mujhe Insaaaaaaf Do! Ek Bharatiya Purush Hone Ki Pavitrata Mein, Mujhe Insaaf Chahiyeeeeeeeee!* *faints from exhaustion of too much B-wood over-acting!* ”…
Vipp Notism would not except defeat… No chance… and so in a minute he posted… “:D ... han, maine tujhe istimaal kiya, kiya, aur karta rahunga, muahaha, apni devta se prarthna karte rehna, lekin kuch bhi nahin hoga kaliya, muahahaha, nyeeehahaha, *comes back and sits on the casting couch from diabetes and overweight* ‘ramu, chai bidi or chicken laana’ ”… which I liked.
In quick succession however he also added, “ *gets up to deliver one more line* ‘dhanno, mein tera istimaal karta rahunga, tu nachegi meri nishanon par, agar main kehta hun ki gundu hai, tu aur nachegi, nach chhamiya naach, varna tumhe lock-up ke andar dal kar chakki pisvaunga, and rast ob your life you will be chakki peecing and peecing and peecing’. *comes back, sits down on the couch* ‘rameshji, ab mera retirement ka time ho gaya’ ”… which I also liked, by the way.
Since I am super fast in my replies and bothered to only read the previous post, I replied, “I want to continue this... But what you just wrote is a masterpiece... so maybe we can have b-wood dialoged duels on some other conversation... by the way, thanks for making me feel like some weird mix of a raped stand-in actress who's only job is to get raped in a film + some random character out of Sholay + some weird pavitra stree from some South-made Goddess movie... It feels interestingly strange actually, the mix of all these elements... I likes :) Thanks :) I have to add this though... *Naheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! Mujhe Insaaf Milegaa... Shayad iss janam mein nahin, lekin, aur bhi toh janmein hain... Mujhe Insaaf Milegaa... Aaap dekhte heen rehna Vipp Notism... yeh anth nahin hain, yehi toh shuruat hain!* *sputters blood far too many times more than required and dies* ”. To which he replied, “:D... interesting indeed yes, interesting indeed...”
But then, I suddenly realized I hadn’t replied the previous post, so I quickly added, “I likes the second delivery also yaar! Aap toh star nikle yaar! I am like the so impressed with you yaar! Main na, like, I am like, your sabse badi fan like, hoon :P”… to which promptly came the true Vipp Notism style of dialogue delivery in reply, “ ‘eh chickne, autograph chahiye kya?, yeh big V autograph denga na, toh puri ki puri fan-base phlat ho jayenga’, ‘eh chhotu, tu actor banna chahta kya?, bol, actor banna chahta kya?, ja, meri liye chai lekar aa, ja’...”, which I liked also!
I couldn't accept defeat either, so I super fastly replied, “arrey aap toh dialogue pe dialogue, dialogue pe dialogue de rahen hain... mujhe bahut shyness is coming for me... *flutters eyelids and bows head in faux-modesty* ”, to which he finally replied, “he he he :D”.
I assume we both won!
What an amazing conversation no?
Of course… there were more comments like Michelle Wilfred claiming she had first right over Marsden… But then we all know the truth :P — “ *gasp* .... Sigh!! oh BTW... HE IS MINE!! No matter what u say!! :) Oh don’t even think of arguing coz we’ve done that so many times!! And its not gonna do either of us any good :P ”
Could I but agree more? Coz’ he is after all MINE. ALL MINE. Vipp Notism or no Vipp Notism reply to that :P