Sitting and listening to a remixed version of Muthuswami Dikshithar’s Rangapura Vihara, sung beautifully by the angelic sounding Nithyashree Mahadevan, as I try to ignore the pain in my neck, literally!
Why would? Why should? Why would someone who claims to not be into you, jump on you, like a ravenous beast, the moment you are left in solitude with him? And like that’s not confusing enough, why would he leave so many painful scars on you, that you’re left pained and guilt-ridden for the rest of eternity?
For now, the scars of a few hours of passion feel so heavy on me, that I wish I could get myself a new skin. I wish I was a snake, able to slither out of my old skin whenever it got too old. Also, I would be naturally endowed with self protecting venom that would keep away the evil-intending...
The music heals for a while and then that nerve twitches from having been almost fed on, blood-clotted and tired from far too much pressure. Love-bites, if they can be called that, were never this irritating!
Looking around I see a million new resolutions, some palpable, some wishful thinking and some downright stupid! I can only hope I heal soon. From the inside and the out! All I seem to want for now is options. Options that are worth the taking...
Little paws jump up precariously onto my desktop and a pair of effervescent eyes look down at me. Sometimes I wish I could be a cat.
Pretty. Nine Lives. Sleep. Free Food. Adored by half the planet. Natural predisposition to being unimaginably cute — still wondering why?
We blink and flirt with each other and I remember speaking to the new ‘him’ yesternight. Could anyone else be more beautiful? I have found my kitten of a love in a human — let’s hope he swings my way and there’s a happily ever after :)
Pic © Joseph Sayers, 2004