Wednesday, January 21, 2009

So close, you are, yet so far…


We spent three days together and in those precious moments I saw my whole life unfurl… As we tried to find a mid-point in between our conflicting destinies and overcame some obstacles that we created ourselves, all I want to tell you my love is, my world is calm when you are in my arms. I am alive with you around and even though I know we’re so close, I can’t ignore how far we’re from reaching that famous happy end…

Watching the sun set over your city on that undiscovered corner of that beautiful hill in the middle of nowhere, I realised that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I lost you at this point. I don’t mind waiting forever for you to realise what I mean to you, but I’d rather live off dreams than lose you in reality forever…

As a mismatched couple on Hemakuta hill, facing the gopuram of a lord I do not worship yet respect, I realised that I am already yours. Like a devadasi, who binds herself to the unseen and unfelt – a belief has become real enough for me to hold on to. You now reside there and in that sanctum sanctorum, that extremely divine place, have I left my heart and all its demands. You owe me nothing, I owe you almost all – and that’s how it will remain to be…

Take time, my love and discover who you want to be. The world is indeed fast, but time will always find space for the yearning. It has found you and so I beg you to use it wisely. Relish and rediscover the real you, someone lost in three years of aimless wandering. May this be your 40 days and 40 nights of that divine test that turned many a human into a saint. May you discover peace and self-understanding in a way that it empowers you from within.

May you discover the real you…

So I bid by goodbye for now, for even though we were close in waiting, we are indeed far from our divergent realities. I pray our paths confluence one day, and then I hope you will believe that I let you go because I knew for forever, that all I ever wanted was to hold you, so close…