Do you watch Will&Grace? (Yupp, the very show on Zee Café)
Don’t you ever wish you were in the place of Will or Grace, for the open relationship they share? (and I mean relationship… not coz they’re really HOT)
And do you totally adore Jack and wish you were in a relationship exactly like that...? (What a Darling...! I agree perfect Boyfriend material huh?)
If you do then you need to read on…If you don’t,
Read on just the same… (Thought you could escape that easily huh?!)
I’m sure you’ll benefit from this mediocre attempt at understanding people and the choices they make (Ahem! Well said!)
The Human Race has always been obsessed with its sexuality (Like you didn’t know, rascal!). And even though we’ve all passed through phases of sexuality being a taboo in each of our societies (Boring!), it still remains one of the most intriguing topics in most discussions (How we LOVE to talk about it!).
Everything the human has learnt to believe in has been in the form of pairs (Worry not; it’s not all that terrible a calculation!). We’ve always believed in opposites co-existing with each other, to form everything we know and believe to exist (Antonyms anyone?!).
The Chinese believed in Yin and Yang, Modern Physicists believe in Matter and Anti-matter, and everyone else believes in Good and Evil (Makes sense?).
Civilization thus decided on The Male and The Female as the ultimate partners, in this very pattern of the opposing duality (Yes, I love techie terms!). Biologically this was apt with the differences they had. Physiologically their structures also seemed to be made almost perfectly for each other (Ahem!).
Thus over time and the development of society, the relationship was rigidified (Darn rules!). The Man became the only partner for The Woman and vice versa (or Heterosexuality). However all through the history of man there have been accounts of people with slight ‘left tendencies’ (Kinky huh?). These people co-existed with the rest of the population but never became strong enough in number to demand their rights.
Many societies then, had rampant alternative sexualities being practiced. Ancient Chinese and Indians for that matter had alternative sexual systems being practiced and being accepted (We ROCKED then!). Ancient Greeks used alternative sexualities, like Homosexual relations between men as a base to their otherwise normal sexual practices. Young boys were always asked to practice the sexual act with boys of their own age before they got into a relationship with a girl, as a precaution against otherwise not being able to please her (Lucky Women!).
Today, such practices are still being practiced by smaller cultural groups such as ‘The Sambians’ of New Guinea, who practice Homosexuality till their late adolescence, after which they turn completely ‘Heterosexual’ (Interesting?).
Sexuality has always been a matter of choice, and it’s the choice you make that defines your sexuality (Simple!). The choices you make are called your orientations, and several psychologists have tried defining the possible orientations that people might possess.
Alfred Kinsley a leading psychologist in the early 1940’s prepared a seven point scale, where after answering a questionnaire; scores were plotted on a number line. Those who scored at 0 were exclusively heterosexual and those scoring 6 were exclusively homosexual. Those who fell in between were bisexuals of varying degrees. (Not all that complex, come on read it again!)
If you were wondering what you are in terms of your orientations, read on to figure out where you might probably stand (And keep those fingers crossed!)…
1) You are turned on by a member of your opposite sex, and do not seem to be turned on by members of your own sex…
YOU’RE HETEROSEXUAL, AND JUST THAT! (God! You’re such a Bore! Just Kidding!)
2) You are turned on by members of your own sex, and don’t seem to find the opposite sex in the least bit interesting…
YOU’RE HOMOSEXUAL DARLIN’! (Interesting you are!)
3) You are turned on by members of your own sex and members of the other sex also, and can’t seem to decide which one your more turned on by…
YOU’RE BISEXUAL BABY! (The confusion makes it all the better!)
However things might not be as simple as they seem especially if you’re Bisexual or Homosexual… (Now this is serious stuff so PAY ATTENTION!)…
Heterosexuals have already been rigidified by the conventional roles they ought to play in a society and thus they are left with a very little choice when it comes to their orientations. Bisexuals and Homosexuals on the other hand are lighter and less rigid in terms of the roles they play and thus can often be confused with one another.
The Homosexual or The Gay (Male) or The Lesbian (Female), is a very debatable orientation. Purists will claim only half of the people who claim to be Homosexual actually are. The ‘True’ homosexual is a person who loves his partner (of the same sex) and thus may/might not indulge in a sexual relationship with him. Love seems to be the only binding force to most ‘Purist’ homosexuals.
On the other hand we have the other ‘popular’ Homosexual, who usually is just interested in sexual relations with members of his/her sex, or just wants to try out something different or apparently safer for ‘fun’. Most Homosexuals fall under this category, and thus are often considered to be Bisexually oriented in reality.
The Bisexual on the other hand is the confused soul (most of us are!), who can’t seem to decide which is better for him/her. A bisexual is typically oriented towards both sexes, but at varying individual levels. A ‘True’ bisexual is one who indulges in relationships with both sexes again out of reasons other than ‘fun’. Love, friendship, and loads of other defining factors are usually the bases to such relationships.
‘Fake’ bisexuals are usually Homosexuals or Heterosexuals, who seem to be interested in such relationships out of pure sexual curiosity. This however is also a ‘Purist’ view.
Scientists have been trying to study the causes of our Sexual Orientations for ages now. One of the earliest theories was put forward by Sigmund Freud. (This is NOT boring believe me… Read on!)…
He claimed that individuals developed Alternative sexualities due to the identification with the same sex parent. He however was one of the few psychologists to consider even ‘Heterosexuality’ to be an alternative behaviour, as he believed such behaviour was not based upon any attraction that was of Chemical nature.
Some other researchers such as A P Bell and his friends decided that it was the non-conformity of a child to his/her own specific gender role in childhood that brought about alternative sexualities. Daryl J Bem more recently added to the above theory saying, a child thus growing up on a non-conforming gender role, will associate, himself/herself, with the opposite sex, and thus be attracted to his/her own sex eventually. He called it the Exotic-becomes-Erotic theory (Brilliant huh!).
Researches in other fields have also tried answering the questions about these ‘deviant’ orientations. Hamer and Hu and their co-researchers, gave evidence of the presence of a piece of X chromosome, Xq28, that seemed to be present in the DNA of most Homosexual men, while LeVay showed that the hypothalamus, in the brain contained a nucleus (a lump of related cells) that was bigger in Heterosexual men, but smaller in Homosexual men and Women (Now you know why your heads smaller…! lol!).
These theories however seem relatively biased because they treat alternative sexualities, like an abnormality (which IT IS NOT!).
Today societies in most parts of the world have accepted these alternative orientations, and accepted them as normal.
The world has come to a stage when, being Bisexual is considered to be ‘in’, and being boringly Heterosexual is considered to be ‘very out’.
India is not far behind with Homosexuals out in public now; the country can also claim to have the largest active ‘Gay’ population, if their presence on the internet is to be believed (Did I see the eyelash flutter?... Yupp its official!).
So don’t be ashamed if you’ve found out that you seem to have an alternative orientation. It’s what defines you, and ignoring it now, will only spell out problems in your future relationship based life. Experiment if you need to, but remember to respect the other individual’s decisions while doing so. An alternative relationship can prove to be really helpful, especially because, nobody can understand you better than one of your own.
Know who you are…
and Be whom you’re meant to be.
(All the best discovering yourselves darlings… muah!)