Joy to the world!

Just when I was about to give up, and say to hell with all these jerks, who consider themselves special, and different comme moiself, I found joy!

True love exists even within gay communities, and even though I know that it was always the case, the scenario in this freakin’ confused metropolis has befuddled me over and again.

So finally when I came across a brilliantly portrayed relationship, in a movie, it sure came as a happy reminder that hope still existed. I could wait and maybe, I would still find the perfect one.

The Adventures of Felix [Drole de Felix], was a chance treasure-find that I quite unassumingly came across at that hub of piracy also known as the Two-DVD-Stores at Commercial Plaza (Guess where?). These guys stock the best of DVD’s and well they are affordable. The prints are brilliant, coz’ these are copies of well… originals (Ironic!).

I am not one for being staunch against piracy, nor am I completely for it.
I would lash out at someone buying a pirated copy of a film that’s available quite easily as discount originals at any DVD store for anything below Rs. 60. But I hold back my argument when someone decides to buy a pirated DVD for say Rs. 70, when the original is priced at nothing below Rs. 599. As always argued, piracy is subjective and to uphold or detest is something that should remain personal. Governments intervening and holding laws defining what piracy is... seem utterly stupid.

The film however was amazing, and I feel no guilt for buying it off the store in that damned hub of such morally obscene ethics (Har! Har!). It followed a few days in the lives of an Arab hottie (Sami Bouajila) who is in a relationship with a teacher [Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My ONLY dream :(]. He (La Arabe) works as a foreman (Ship) and has just quit his job. He plans on going to Marseilles to find his dad, whom he has never met. Brought up by his single-parent mum, the boy has all the qualities that make a gay boy that much more adorable. His partner (the teacher - Pierre Loup-Rajot) is a Caucasian boy, who doesn’t do much other than lip-lock the Arab hottie, several times during the movie (Grrrrrr!). So said Arab hottie plans out his trip and books a ticket to Marseilles for his boy-firend so that they’d both arrive a la Marseille on the same day, and the he sets out on a five day trip from Normandy walking and hitching a ride wherever he can.

The movie follows his amazing journey through the French country, where he meets the most gorgeous of people, and gets involved in what I can only refer to as the mystery and the grace of our human existence that has often been referred to as ‘mankind’.

I will not be a spoiler and tell you what happens, but the kisses and embraces that dot the film are just too beautiful to miss. The meeting of the two lovers at Marseille actually brought tears to my eyes, coz’ the most beautiful moments of love are often the most simplest. This film personifies ‘love’ as most of the international gay community perceives the beautiful emotion: Free, un-judgmental, unquestioning, and not in the least bit possessive. It’s not anywhere close to how I perceive the divine emotion, but their view is equally beautiful all the same. At the end of the day it’s just about True love… and everyone knows that ultimately…

Love rules all!

Dekhteen Hain Negaahaen Tujhe Iss Kadar….
Khoobsurat Hain Tu…
Iss Kadar…

Oh… Raanjhaa Sang Raen’na…
Oh… Dukh Sukh Saen’na…

The movie was released in 2000, from co-directors Oliver Ducastel and Jacques Martineau, who are in love, and share their lives together (who is surprised!)

Another One Bites The Dust...

In Memoriam...

I will survive!

“Somebody, Anybody… Help…”

Every time I remember that scene, memories of desolation flood back into every single corner of my mind. Those few frames of utter hopelessness, where little Simba, seeing his father pushed of a cliff by an evil uncle, and then run over by a frightened herd of wilder beast, screams out, asking for help. The scream eventually turns into a plea, and then into ‘a mourn’ of

complete loss. [Referring to Disney’s Lion King]

Desolation is a beautiful word, for it represents what’s left over after ‘a destroying’ that might not have been as successful as it wanted to be. It therefore (to me at least) represents some hope that lingers on, in what’s left, when everything else stands destroyed.

Destruction is always with purpose.
Doing good can also destroy. But, however much one may try, desolation will always stand for the possibility of new growth, and re-birth.

The amending of ways, the change of idea, thought and perception.
The welcome of the new.
The choice of forgiveness or revenge.
The faith and belief that there is a tomorrow, and one needs to work towards living it.
It is therefore a blessing in the cruelest of all disguises.

An ujaala-venmaiyaay white lily, in the middle of a bloodied battlefield strewn with corpses.
A ray of light in an eternal darkness.
A hope when everything else is lost.

You, came into my life, and walked out at will.
You played with my every emotion.
You taught me to love, while being hated.
You let me learn how to give and not receive.
You brought light, yet took away my sunshine.
You were who you always wanted to be.
I am who I am.

I have not lost hope,
I still believe.
I know that you’ll return.

I will survive.

The 'Y' Post.

Nadiyae Nee Aaanaal…
If you were to be a river…
Karai Naanaey,
Then I would be your bank.
Silluh Paravai Nee Aanaal…
If you were to be a flock of birds…
Unn Vaanam Naanaey.
Then I would be your sky.

Life is funny.

Suddenly you’re everything, and suddenly you’re not.

I guess every one has their peaks and troughs,

but why should it be like that?
Why should one feel bad, to feel good all over again?
Why can’t the status quo be ‘Happy’ and never change?
Is sorrow that essential in living a worth-it life?

Feeling like a ‘Loser’ helps, and that I know, as experience only makes people wiser, or so say the forefathers (Har! Har! – The Meitei in me, comes alive again. Yeah!), and Loser-syndrome-benefits in my life are many. But sorrows or unhappiness (es) really don’t lead to anything positive, do they? I’ve never really come across a person who has benefited quite triumphantly after a phase of extreme sorrow. They usually do enjoy life more afterwards, but why did they need it in the first place? Depression is sure to follow suit in most cases, and since I’ve been there and done that (Oui! Je suis La Pro!), I know how painful that can actually be. It hurts like there’s never going to be an end. There are no more beautiful sunrise’s, no more mellow evenings, no more voices to give you ‘jhumm’ and make your day, and no more songs that can make you cry tears of joy. Life becomes so pathetic, that there doesn’t seem to be a reason to live it. Depression leads to the feeling of not being appreciated, which finally leads to a very unhealthy isolation, which is something I feel I’m going through now.

Why is being appreciated so important?
Why can’t we just make do with being the simple people that we were born to be?
Why do we always need to strive towards earning some totally unachievable goal

that in the first place cannot exist, and in the second place,

might not have even been created by ‘you’?
Why is the need to ‘fit in’ so indispensable to almost everyone,

and to those to whom it doesn’t, well,

they weren’t going to ‘fit in’ in the first place.

Why can’t the people we love, love us back?
Why can’t we get what we want?
Why couldn’t we be the parents of our parents?
Why couldn’t we all be millionaires?
Why is India taking forever to develop?
Why is the world round and not square?
Why can’t we find life on other planets, and run away?

Why can’t we learn to face things as they are and not crib?

I wish I knew! I really do.
Of how time flew, far away...

leaving me (lonely) behind.